Family Counselling

Family counselling is a follow-up support system after undergoing a family therapy because this family is still shaky and still starting to plant the seed of solid family foundation through the cooperation of each family member. It is important to think that when there is a family member whom the family members are thinking the family problem, this only means that all the family members are contributories to the reason why such member becomes problematic. In other words, the whole family is problematic or sick and not the only one member of the family.

Counselling the family will be a great help in order to settle the issue and heal the family from the bondage of negative emotions. Psychotherapy through meditation and other techniques can also be a positive way of helping the family in recovery stage.

Family Therapy

Family is a system. Whatever happens to each member of the family whether good or bad affects directly all the family members. In a dysfunctional family, family therapy is but necessary if they value their family.

The basic problem in the family is that family members live in their own comfort zones which contributed negatively to others if not all family members. Each family member should try to sacrifice to get out of such comfort zone in oder to regain the functionality/stability of the family. The family will not function properly if family members will not cooperate towards the goal of family unity/solidarity.

A father who is enjoying his womanizing, a mother who is happy in being dominant, a daughter who is abusive of her being the first born, a middle child who is trying to evade everybody, and the youngest child who is a spoiled brat: these are just samples of comfort zones related to one's role/position in the family which challenged the family to gradually leave such comfort zones for the achievement of a higher goal.

It is through family therapy that these comfort zones are trying to be discovered and eradicated as a process of knowing who are contributories to the problems with the sole purpose of saving and uniting this family.

Dysfunctional Family

This is just the opposite of what a functional family is. Common in a dysfunctional family is total disintegration withinamong the family members. They do not see the meaning of life, exactly no sense of self, meaning members are simply like "Zombies" (living dead) because they just exist for art sake without sense of purposeor mission.

Due to having a disintegrat ed self, each member is miserable and experiencing depression with coping mechanisms they can only know. The effect of this to other members is very destructive because a strong negative vibration is permeating within the family system.

Love is hard to find, unity seems to be impossible and family members try to survive at their own risk. Shouting, heated arguments, resentments and quarrels are prevalent in a dysfunctioanl family. Everybody is correct and nobody will accept the blame or failure.

Suicide, drug addiction, alcoholism, sex sturbation, prostitution, perversion, criminality are normally the end results among the family members. What is highly recommended is family therapy to save this family from complete nothingness.

Functional Family

Thus, in order to have a functional family, the members of the family should be functional first if not problems will arise. The self should be functional in order to contribute to the functionality of the family.

A functional self is a self with a strong foundation of self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-love and self-transformation. In order for the self to function as to what is expected of him/her according to his/her age level, this self should have undergone a dynamic process of sense of selfhood.

Assuming the members of the family have functional self, they will form a functional family. A functional family is simply the members of the family are doing their part according to their position/role in the family like being a responsible provider in the case of the father, a good mother, an honest eldest, an obedient middle child, and an industrious last child for example.

Love, inner joy, justice, happiness, peace, harmony and other good values are present in a functional family.